The conversation this morning is about single moms, specifically those raising sons. How does a single mother raise a MAN? Part of the conversation has been regarding how women tend to believe that we are capable of raising our boys into men. And initially I agree. But then a few young men who were raised by single mothers have called in and expressed how there were times in their lives that they truely felt their mother, being a woman, was just simply not able to give them the advise they seeked, most commonly regarding how to handle situations in the streets. Now, I will get up out of my own feelings enough to admit that I’m sure there will be situations that will arise in my son’s life where he will probably prefer a man’s perspective. With that said, I also strongly believe that there is an additional societal issue at hand with the hyper-masculinzation of our young men, especially our minority men. My son is only 4, but he has a strong grasp of higher level thinking, and I nurture that. I teach him to think for himself, and I engage him in critical thinking. I am also a single mother who is blessed to have a superior support system in my life that are there to help me with the care of my son. I am also a single mother who does not bad-mouth my son’s absent father; he is just simply not a topic of conversation. My son will face enough obstacles in his life w/o me adding a negative image of self by subconsciously insinuating that he is a worthless bastard because of the actions and choices of a parent not even in his life. I believe this is where so much of the hate and anger comes from: bitter baby mommas bashing their baby daddies, and every other man in the world, too. I choose not to be that female. I choose not to be a “baby momma”: I am my son’s mother, and his father is not my “baby daddy”. And my final bullet point on this post is the propensity of single mothers to be so over protective of their sons. I am VERY protective of my son: what he eats, what he watches on tv, what music (lyrics) he listens to, his homework, his chores/ responsibilities, and even the people that are allowed to be a part of his life. BUT I also hold him accountable for his actions. When he does wrong, I make him own it. When he falls, I make him get up. I actually get pissed off when other people coddle him, because I dont allow him to be a cry baby. I’m instilling personal responsibility in him now. I’m instilling respect for self and others in him now. I’m instilling solid moral values in him now. And so far I’m doing a damn good job! But like I said, he’s still just 4, and I have the world’s best support system helping me keep my mind right. There will come a time that as a woman I may not be able to give him the advise he needs, especially concerning the changes he will expetience with his body. I’m not like a lot of women who hate men, or are so confused by them that I wouldn’t know where to start to help him in social situations, but I won’t be arrogant enough to assume I will always be able to. He will always need positive male role modals in his life, and it is my responsibility to ensure that he has consistent positive men in his life, without there being a “revolving door”, which could also only cause that anger and contibute to a lack of respect for self, for me, and for women in general. I realize that the best way for me to raise a GOOD MAN, is to have good, positive men to model. But I’m laying a solid foundation of love, respect, accountability, responsibility, and positivity to build on.